Self-Awareness – the number one leadership skill
I recently had an interesting conversation with one of my clients about what being authentic means as a leader. We discussed how some people may use ‘authenticity’ to explain away poor behaviour. We often hear the phrase, bring yourself to work, and frequently people will say it’s important to them to be authentic and be themselves.
Nevertheless, we have all had that boss who is autocratic and authoritative with no self-awareness of their behaviours and demands and what effect it has on the team. They may get great results through control and conquer but at what cost to the mental health of others?
And if you are a female leader, is it ok to get emotional and cry when you are feeling overwhelmed? Is that being authentic? And if so is that ok? And of course, it’s not just female leaders who can get emotional. So, is that worse if it is a male boss showing tears? Is either scenario acceptable?
One thing is clear. An emotionally intelligent, authentic leader is self-aware of their behaviours and the effect it has on others. They know their own strengths and weaknesses as well as those of their team. They actively work on who they want to be as a leader, not from some inauthentic viewpoint but from their own values system and what is important to them.
Being authentic and being yourself does not mean that bad behaviour is ok. However, we are all human and imperfect, so chances are we are all going to behave badly from time to time at work. What we do with that is what separates a good leader from a great leader. When we own our mistakes, apologise unreservedly without making excuses – that is authenticity right there.
And as for the crying? In my book, there’s nothing wrong with crying at work as long as it’s not a regular occurrence (in which case you might need a new job) and occasionally many of us will get impatient and raise our voices. But we are striving for aspiration not perfection. Showing vulnerability can connect rather than divide if handled in a constructive way and people can see you are being genuinely authentic.
How are you seen as a leader? How do you want to be seen? If you want to develop your skills further, check out my website https://sharonstoneconsulting.com.au/leadership-coaching-sydney/
