Humility or playing small?
I think most people see humility as a strength of character and I believe we are personally more drawn to humble people than braggers (of course there are exceptions but that’s another post altogether).
Working with clients who feel unrecognised or not acknowledged can bring some aha moments for them when we discuss what they see as their strength of humbleness.
Often a person’s perspective on humility can be overplayed. Sometimes what we believe is humility is actually playing small. And then we can be overlooked or side-lined and not recognised for our achievements. And that has a knock-on effect of us playing even smaller.
While it is great that you don’t take all the praise for a successful project, when you only keep praising others, your own part in the success can be unnoticed.
So how do you change things? Firstly, by knowing clearly what your achievements are, and what strengths have led to your success. Secondly by learning to speak about them in a way that doesn’t feel like boasting but acknowledges the part you played. When praise comes for something done well, not brushing off the compliment by saying I was just doing my job. (Learning to accept compliments is a big part of this).
And while you can also acknowledge the whole team’s participation, don’t do it at the expense of brushing over yours. This is a skill you can learn and have more of a balance. If you often find yourself feeling resentful that others have been publicly acknowledged and you have been ignored, it’s time to do something about it. If you want some help, drop me a line and let’s talk.
sharon@sharonstoneconsulting.com.au
